This Could Be...

This could be your last catalog.

That was the message on the cover of the mail order catalog in my mailbox today.

Gosh I hope so, was the first thought to cross my mind.

But I quickly stifled that line of thinking. There was no point in setting myself up for a big let down. This could be your last catalog was just an empty promise. I've been to every website and called every phone number to be removed from mailing lists, but the darned catalogs just keep coming.

I've decided mail order companies must be subsidized by the U.S. government to ensure the post office has things to deliver. Requests to be removed from a mailing list probably actually wind up at the Office of Anti-American Behavior so that those people making the requests can be added to a watch list.

If a mail order company wants to ensure I at least open their catalog, then the message on the cover should say something like Your neighbor just bought item H on page 17 - or- We will start sending you three times the number of catalogs if you don't order within 30 days.