Thursday, November 13, 2014

Of Love & Acrobats

She had always thought it was only in books that a person's life could change. Until sorrow unleashed behind a dreary bowling alley by the return of a letterman's sweater became an opportunity to set out across a dark, lustrous sea with a charming individual chock full of strange obsessions. Obessions such as dancing a flamenco every time a clock chimed ten, or guffawing at the tripping of an awkward person as though the moment were a cosmic joke. Despite his inexplicable behavior the stranger became her new love and the couple disappeared into the future like a pair of dancing acrobats.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Reoccuring Past

He found himself looking into another time. Gentlemen were wearing riding britches, shirts the weight of sail cloth, and jackets with sharply cut tails. Women wore gowns that pooled in abundance on woven carpets and decorated their forearms with gloves that ran from fingertip to elbow. Candles in mirrored sconces provided the light in the room. Refreshments included room temperature wines and salt cured meats.

The unsettling part was this all seemed familiar to him. He was certain the narrow doorway on the far side of the ballroom led to a smoking lounge. He was starting in that direction when he noticed a woman approaching. That face - her face - he knew it in his current life as well.

Friday, October 31, 2014

An Empty Ride

The merry-go-round drifted to a stop. Thankfully he dismounted before his stomach rebelled. When had the merry-go-round become a nauseating adventure? Getting old sucked. He stumbled to the metal bench inside the metal fence usually reserved for the mother whose child had insisted on the opportunity to ride alone for the first time. Head between his knees, he was behind the rest of the crowd in noticing the extended stall of the carnival ride. Angry mumbling finally caused him to look up. The last riders were long gone but the horses remained empty.

Rising from the bench, he called out "What happened to the attendant?"

A bald headed girl with blonde eyebrows and pouting lips tugged on his coat sleeve. "Sometimes the man who runs the merry-go-round takes people on a search for things.  You should be glad he didn't take you."

Monday, October 27, 2014

Toxic Diapers

Tomorrow would bring more of the stifling summer weather. It was August after all, and it was West Virginia after all, and once the muggy heat settled in it was never in a hurry to leave. The river might have been an option had the disposable diaper plant upstream not reported a toxic spill last week.

You had to wonder what went into disposable diapers that was toxic. It probably had something to do with why so many kids had ADHD these days. Spending the first two years of life with toxic material strapped to your butt had to have some kind of longer term effect. Next toddlers would be glowing in the dark. Not necessarily a bad thing in Ralph's opinion; the rascals were always popping up when least expected.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Old Croc

He was one of those kids who enjoyed spending time with the older generation. His favorite place to pass a lazy summer afternoon was Granddad's den. The den was a place where magic happened, a place where stories reigned supreme. Towering bookshelves leaned precariously under the weight of their contents. A mahogany desk with a leather blotter and a brass counter-balanced lamp took up the center of an oriental carpet. Behind the desk, in facing chairs, he and Grandad created the adventures of larger than life heroes. His favorite was Old Croc, a rescuer of all things fair and valuable who had lost his leg to a crocodile.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Heavenly Moss

I am the moss that grows where grass will not.
My bed is silk to the polyester of grass.
My color is electric to subdued fescues.
My taste is sweet to the harshness of grass.
My stature is sublime to gangly blades.
I grow where I will not be trampled,
content to contemplate the richness of soil
and delicacy of dew drops.
I am the Heaven that is longed for.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

When You Her See Her

When you see her ask her about growing up always moving
Ask her about fleeting friendships
Ask her about the glue that binds siblings
Ask her about sausage eating contests
Ask her about corny horror films
Ask her about fathers taken away too young
Ask her about dependency
Ask her about need
Ask her about love discovered
Ask her about giving birth
Ask her about trials of patience
Ask her about tearful separation
Ask her about professional success
Ask her about determination

Sunday, August 10, 2014

You Are Loved

Sit my child.
Me, my lord?

A nod. I am pleased.
Of me, my lord?
A nod. You spoke of me.
I did, my lord.
You spoke of truth.
I spoke of you, my lord.
One in the same.
I felt abandoned, my lord.
You were strong.
I am sorry.
I am pleased.
I am yours.
You are loved.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

A Life Story

A girl is born
A woman falls in love
A wife is married
A mother gives birth
A mother loves
A grandmother loves
A great grandmother loves
A matriarch dies
A soul is newborn
A God loves.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Missing the Vent

What ever happened to these?





The triangular car window vent was perhaps one of the best car design features ever. There was no need for air conditioning below temperatures of 90 degrees when you could direct a 60 mph wind stream onto your face.  Fogging windshields?  Fagitaboutit!  They just didn't happen when there was the ability to create a strategically directed flow of air.

That triangular window was genius engineering at its best. As a society we should demand it's return.
I want my...I want my... I want my window vent.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

The Cats Will Play

Shocking Dude and Language Lass head off for Costa Rica at the end of the month. He for a one week vacation near his wife and she for a month long stay of language enrichment.

For the week they are both gone, I'm wondering how much devastation their two Siamese cats can wreak upon the apartment.  I'm envisioning scattered drawer contents, emptied pantry, and perhaps some rearranging of smaller furniture items.

Hmmm... if I can find out who will be cat sitting perhaps I can ship a baggie full of catnip.

Upon his return, Shocking Dude will no doubt be in for some very vocal chastisement. I'm thinking a bottle of z-quil will be in order.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

A Cold Bite


"You can't tell me these aren't human," the officer pointed to bite wounds on the victim's leg.

Dr. Urquist pulled a deep breath.Gads he was tired of the perpetual stream of rookies. When would the metropolitan police manage to hang onto officers long enough that knowledge would be respected?

 "Officer Dupree," Dr. Urquist said, "perhaps you will grant me the kindness of waiting until I finish my report before you question my findings."

"Come on, doc. What you're saying makes no sense. The guy was found in his bed, no animals in the house. Unless those bites were made by Sasquatch they have to be human."

Lifting the cadaver's leg, Dr. Urquist bit into the cold flesh. "THAT is a human bite pattern. Does it resemble the other wounds to your trained eye?"


Monday, April 28, 2014

The Taste of a Song

She likes to mix her liquors. Not the long island iced-teas or Singapore slings that bartenders concocted but shot glasses lined up on the oak coffee table in the den. There are twelve shot glasses with a bottle standing behind each - vodka, rum, tequila, gin...you get the idea.

Her Saturday night ritual is to crank her husband's fifteen thousand dollar sound system until the very foundation rattles. She puts the music database on shuffle and goes with the flow. Santana's Black Magic Woman calls for a shot of Captain Morgan. Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville leaves no second guessing.

Tonight she is two hours into it but could still walk the line if she needed to. Walking the line - that makes her think of Johnny Cash. Johnny was definitely a malt whiskey.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Aging Memory

You know you are getting old when:

While waiting for the water in the shower to get hot you realize you used the last of the shampoo the day before.

On your way to the linen closet you find yourself in the kitchen and decide the only reason you would be there would be to start breakfast.

After putting bread in the toaster you decide to kill two birds with one stone by making the bed while the bread is toasting.

While throwing on the bedspread you smell something and rush to the kitchen.

After tossing the charcoal black toast in the trash you start to wash your hands and then remember you haven't had your shower yet.

Returning to the bathroom you realize you never got the shampoo - but it doesn't matter because the hot water is gone.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

When the Time Comes

When the time comes, promise you will hold me.
When the time comes, promise me your strength.
When the time comes, promise me tears of happiness.
When the time comes, promise me your willingness to be silent.
When the times comes, promise me a kiss.

When the time has passed, promise you will remember.
When the time has passed, promise you will live.
When the time has passed, promise you will laugh.
When the time has passed, promise to share love.

When the time comes, I promise I will be waiting.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Spoofing the New Guy?

Jason knew the brick office building was a repurposed psychiatric hospital. During his tour of the building on his first day of work several of his new coworkers warned him not to be last one to leave, never to stay after dark without someone expecting you at home by a specific time, and never to go into the basement alone.

Certain the warnings were jokes every new-hire had to endure, Jason nevertheless matched the serious facial expressions and conspiratorial tones of voice when acknowledging the friendly advice.

But by the time his tour guide led him to the basement, Jason wasn't so sure all those warnings had been jokes. Brick cells lined the outer walls, interiors visible where solid steel doors stood ajar. One cell was used as a storage room for copier paper. When the overhead bare light bulb was flicked on, Jason saw iron rings mortared into the brick. From those rings hung iron chains with metal cuffs that would have locked around an ankle or wrist.

Spooky, huh? A voice whispered from behind. The whisper was followed by a metallic click followed by the sound of a chain being dropped. Jason felt the sudden weight on his left arm as the light went out.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Impossible Defiance

The wind blew, the ocean surged, and a ripple stirred.
The ripple built to a swell. The swell gathered speed and rose into a wave.
Greedily sucking water back from the shore the wave doubled, then tripled in size.
A curl formed, the top of the wave outracing the concave belly.
Bait fish sparkled silver in a graceful free fall from the rushing ridge.
The tip of the curl hung in impossible defiance of gravity.
Wind swept spray from the watery ridge.
Sun highlighted the shifting patterns of salt -
Mini continents drifting across the deep green.
Then all was erased in a pounding crash of white foam.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Roses and Bedsheets

It could have been a joke. It would certainly fit David's twisted sense of humor. But Julia wasn't laughing.

More likely the wilted black rose in the oblong box of shiny cardboard was David's commentary on the emptiness of social niceties. Julia had been hinting more frequently that a display of affection other than twisted bedsheets would be nice.

Look what that had gotten her.

Look it would get David - no more twisted bedsheets

Thursday, April 10, 2014

April Splendor

It was an Easter bouquet that demanded a quarter of an acre.
Sun-bright forsythia rose from a carpet of purple hyacinths bordered by attentive daffodils.
All set against a backdrop of a willow tree with drooping branches that fairly glowed with the green of new life.

Such is the splendor of April.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Duct Tape and Dreams

It was held together with duct tape and dreams, she told him.

Startled, he looked up from his bowl of granola. Why would you tape a duck? It seems to me super glue would be better for reattaching feathers.

She wanted to dump his cereal into his lap. He was always deflecting conversations that mattered, conversations about the two of them.

He either didn't or wouldn't understand the duct tape and dreams referred to their relationship.  Had he really not picked up on the past tense in her statement?

She was glad her bags were already in the car. It would make things that much easier.

The cereal bowl found its way into his lap after all as she headed for the door.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Pain Released

......continued from previous post

The pressure in his chest, the pain of heartbreak, rose through his body. Acid boiled at the back of his throat. Gavin choked back the sob that wanted to escape. Then the discomfort was between his eyes, a finger point of pressure such that Gavin was certain a bulge must be forming between his eyebrows. And still the pressure grew until tears leaked out from beneath Gavin's closed eyelids.

Then there was nothing. Gavin dared to open his eyes. The room was alive with color: reds that glowed like a just-polished fire engine, greens as rich as spring grass, and yellows that could have been a saint's halo.

Here now Gavin. Get up off your knees. I'll not have you fussin over that old body of mine.

Turning with a gasp, Gavin beheld his Sarah - as full of life as the day they first met.

Monday, April 7, 2014

A Quick Passing

Gavin was alone. Sarah, his wife of fifty years was gone - dead.
Dead - the word was as heavy on his tongue as it was on his heart.
Dead - the word clearly prohibited negotiation or reprieve.
Dead - the word stood on its own.

Gavin had woken first as he did everyday. He had started the coffee then headed for the shower. By the time he had toweled himself dry, the smell of Maxwell House permeated the house. His stomach had grumbled as he pulled on his overalls.

All the same as everyday. Except that when he returned to the kitchen, Sarah wasn't there. With his pulse rat-tat-tatting a foreboding beat, Gavin returned to the bedroom. The blankets still covered Sarah's still form.

Gavin knelt now at Sarah's side of the bed. Her body was cool, her fingers stiff, her chest still.

They had both wanted it this way. A quick passing without pain. But Gavin had never imagined the pain that would be born by the survivor. He was glad Sarah had gone first.

They had promised each other there would be no extravagance. No costly funeral. No viewing. No embalming. They shared a fear of premature burial and had agreed no one would be called for three days.

Gavin was prepared to spend those days right here. On his knees. With his beloved.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

A Horse is a Horse.. Unless of Course

...continued from previous post.

Unable to fee himself from the clinging vine, Ian toppled headfirst and dangled like a wild animal caught in a snare. Staring into the wall of tree trunks and broken branches, Ian watched in horror as the same choking vines holding his ankles crept toward his neck.

From behind him Ian heard the stacatto of horseshoes striking stone. Horse hooves pranced around his head in a vicious dance, then went still went an agonized shriek filled the air. A heartbeat later the stranglehold on Ian's ankles released and his face squelched into the muddy ground.

Spitting foul smelling peat, Ian found his feet - but astonishment dropped him back to his knees. The wizened face of a bearded wizard topped the neck of Ian's stallion.

The wizard spoke. The memories of your mount cast you in a fair light, else I would have left you to the yamouk.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Regretted Decision

The rains had left the freshly plowed field a sodden mess. Tracking the spirited stallion had been easy - until now. 

Ian would have sworn he knew all two hundred acres of the family farm, but the barrier before him was unfamiliar. Years of accumulated deadwood intertwined with thorny brush formed a wall as impenetrable as anything man might have built. It seemed impossible the young stallion could have vaulted the barricade, yet here the tracks ended.

Searching for a way through the dead fall, Ian took notice that the swirling morning mists curled back on at this border. Ignoring the suggestion that even nature absented what lay beyond, Ian climbed upon one of the more recently fallen tree limbs. In the short moments that he stood searching the shadows cast by false dawn, Ian felt vines constricting around his ankles. Sensing that if he didn't either retreat or advance, he would become just another part of this unnatural barricade, Ian struggled forward.  And quickly regretted his decision.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Centenial Megalith

The hotel had been in continuous operation for one hundred years. Rising one hundred, twenty-four feet and taking up an entire city block, the exterior was of stone block cut in megalithic proportions giving the hotel such a colossal appearance it seemed impossible that the underlying ground could support the structure.

Inside the hotel was no less impressive. The lobby's Italian marble floors gleaming beneath crystal chandeliers that hung from a ceiling decorated in three dimensional reliefs of such size that the crafting might have been the work of giants.

Exquisite attention to detail continued into the guest room levels. After exiting an elevator paneled in wood of rich hues normally only seen in libraries and smoking rooms, I gazed down a hall of such length that optical illusion reduced the far end to a two-by-six rectangle. The sculptured carpet was met by wood wainscot that three of the nine foot wall height. Doors of Philippine mahogany were dark contrast to the beige walls. From the ceiling hung shaded chandeliers at ten foot intervals making shadow a stranger.

I'm sure the intent was to engulf a visitor in comfortable opulence. But all I could see was the word REDRUM. 


Thursday, March 27, 2014

Siamese If You Please

Shocking Dude, my son, and Language Lass, his wife, (see cast of characters below) share an apartment with two Siamese cats named Idalia and Kellen.  That is to say the cats tolerate the presence of the two humans since having humans around saves the cats from having to hunt for food.

Having spent many hours with Shocking Dude when he was just a wee lad watching the Disney movie Lady and the Tramp, I was a little surprised at the choice of two Siamese. If you're not familiar with the movie, two Siamese cats manage to trash a McMansion with no assistance. We're talking shredded draperies, toppled Ming vases - utter catastrophe.

When I visit the apartment, it doesn't seem as bad as I had anticipated - though some of the pictures that have been posted on Facebook leave me wondering just how much hiding of evidence happens before Motivated Mom and I pay a visit.

Though Kellen tends to hide when company arrives, I have seen the two cats flow through the apartment like a single living organism - one leapfrogging ahead of the other only to be leapfrogged in return- slipping across furniture, leaping onto counter tops, slinking into pantries, and opening cabinet doors. I'm sure that someplace Kellen and Idalia have the feline equivalent of Aladdin's treasure.

Cast of Characters - since it's been a while I should probably revisit this. Names of family members have been changed to protect both the innocent and the guilty:

My wife: Motivated Mom - so named because she attacks everything she does with a passion or energy

My son: Shocking Dude - so named because he is an electrical engineer (for long time readers he was previously known as College Dude, but with graduation behind him that had to change

My daughter: Media Girl - she is connected to the world by the use of some type of media 24/7. Without a cell phone her life energy would evaporate into the ether.

My daughter-in-law: Language Lass - her passion is language and she currently studies Anthropological Linguistics. Which I guess means she fascinated by talking with dead people.

My granddaughter: Miss Grabby Fingers - because at 2 years of age she grabs anything and everything she sees.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Captive Audience

Calvin had been raised in the family business so working in the embalming room was not the creepy job that some of his friends insisted it  must be. Summer was Calvin's busiest time. There were lots more cars on the road and lots more accidents.

Right now Calvin was incredibly busy.  To alleviate the stress, he had placed his customers in seated positions before rigor set in. A couple of stainless steel tables pushed against the wall served as benches. The blonde-haired woman's face was ripped open from eye socket to jaw, but only on one side so Calvin had been careful to turn that side of her head to the wall. Which meant the blonde was staring right at the guy who had lost his leg at the knee. Calvin had positioned the bottom half of the leg so that it looked like the guy had that leg crossed over the other.

Working on stitching the eyelids of his current customer closed, Calvin discussed everything from barbecue recipes to baseball standings with those who were waiting. He asked which of them thought the Yankees would win the next game. When he looked up, only one had raised his hand. Of course that elderly gentleman only had one hand that he could raise.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Everybody Have You Heard

with apologies to Carole King:

Hey everybody have you heard...
I'll never buy her a mockingbird...
Or at least not one that sings.
And there ain't no money for a ring...

Because I'm going to need the money to post bail after I get arrested for discharging a firearm in a residential area. That firearm is going to be used to blast the dag blasted mockingbird right out of the bush by my bedroom window.

Since when do birds sing all night anyway? Hungarian folklore says that a bird singing at night means bad news will follow.  I guess the Hungarians had the right of it. The coming bad news for me is getting arrested for blasting the bird.

I guess I should be thrilled that the impending Spring season has brought the birds back.... but why did I have to get the belligerent one?






                           


Monday, March 24, 2014

Holy Cow - Kind'a

You've probably seen them, trailers made of steel mesh that lawn care companies use to haul their lawn tractors, mowers, edgers, and so forth.

In this morning's commute I was one car removed from a pickup truck pulling such a trailer. The trailers are such a common site that I really paid it no mind until realizing something on the trailer was moving around.

Concerned the operator had neglected to secure his equipment I began evaluating my emergency response options which were few being on a limited access divided highway.  When the movement in the trailer became more extreme I realized something about this particular trailer was very different. The sides of the trailer,rather than being one or two feet of metal mesh, rose to some five feet in height and were capped by more of the mesh - a rolling jail cell for all intents and purposes.

My attention now fully focused, I realized there were arms waiving within that cell.  Thinking that on a twenty-seven degree morning if I had been in that cell I'd be doing more than waving arms, I quickly started questioning my assessment.

Approaching an exit, traffic slowed and I was finally able to get a good look. Within the cage were two massive bulls tossing their heads from side to side. Each bull sported a pair of curving horns at least three feet long - a six foot spread in all.

I'm guessing the driver of the pickup never had problems with tailgaters.





Sunday, March 23, 2014

Climate Change

The lion and lamb have been in a battle for dominance all through the month of March here in the Mid-Atlantic region.  The past two days have been no exception with Saturday a balmy beach-walking seventy-three degrees and today a drizzly affair unable to break the forties.

Year round residents of this beach community have been at a loss at to whether they should be waxing their surfboards or prepping their snow shovels. This confusion was captured perfectly by a man walking at the water's edge today. Wearing swim trunks so that he could splash shin-deep in the ocean, the man also sported a down filled parka with the hood pulled up against the stiff breeze.

Then again - maybe the man was more confused than most. To choose to wade in forty-three degree water calls clear thinking into question in and of itself.  But to make that choice knowing his top half would be wrapped in Eskimo attire....well I know it left me without any impression of sanity.

Perhaps his feet had been sweaty......


Saturday, March 22, 2014

Tired or Tenacious?

A house develops a personality of its own only after left vacant. Until then the house is a reflection of its owner. But once the owner leaves, the house reveals itself as a batter-scarred warrior, a larger-than-life entertainer, a tired recluse, etc.

Of late, vacant houses stand empty in staggering numbers - so much so that they have become nearly invisible. But every so often one of these abandoned structures catches my eye. Such was the case today when my attention turned to the bungalow with the sagging screen door.

The wooden screen door hung loose, tilting away from the house, precariously attached by a single top hinge. To some, that door drooping door might have indicated a tired shelter teetering on collapse.  But I saw a still-proud structure gripping the screen door with determined tenacity. 

I saw a house that shouted I will not the fail the next to call me home. I saw a house that promised warm comfort in cold seasons and shadowed protection in the summer. I saw a house with a roof line still running knife-edge straight. I saw a house with porch columns that still stood as proud sentinels. In return for a few screws in the hinges of that screen door, the house would swear fealty to those who chose to live within.

Timing Is Everything

My recent visit to TGIF for dinner had me reeling.  Quite unbeknownst to me, I had selected all of the best the restaurant had to offer based on my waitress punctuating my every word with FA-A-antastic or GREAT choice. When my request for a doggie bag was answered with FA-A-antastic, it all began to get incredibly (with a perky exclamation point!) old.

Until I realized that the waitresses had never once asked me how everything was, or if I needed anything else, while my mouth was full of food.

Because that's generally the way it works isn't it?  You've just taken a too-big-bite of a too-thick club sandwich when the waiter or waitresses materializes at your side and asks if you need anything else. At which point you are grateful for all of the games of charades you played as a child.

It's a flaw that dental hygienists have as well. With a noisy suction tube dangling out of the lower corner of your mouth and a gleaming pick wedged behind your upper incisors you hear it....Any problems since you were last here?

And you think.... only that it took me three entire days to forget how annoying you were.