Sunday, November 30, 2008

Duck Feathers

We returned last night from a vacation in the warm sunny climate of Aruba, and awoke today to the chilly rainy weather of Delaware.

Okay, so maybe fifty three degrees isn't so bad for the end of November, but compared to eighty five degrees it's pretty darn chilly.

I was noticing that the ducks in the pond near our house are not bothered by the current weather.

I've been thinking about those ducks for some time now. Even when the temperature was in the low thirties a couple weeks back the ducks were contentedly paddling around the pond. When they submerged their heads for feeding and left their wet tail ends sticking up in the air, looking like an inverted bottle bobbing on the surface, I thought the poor creatures just HAD to be freezing their butts off.

Apparently not. The ducks seem quite content. Their feathers must have incredible insulating properties.

So why didn't humans get insulating feathers? If I had been equipped with a fluffy natural insulator, I would not have had to go to bed last night wearing a hooded sweatshirt.

Then again, I probably would have been molting while laying on that ocean side chaise lounge last week.

I guess it's true that everything has its trade offs.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

I'll be away from the internet for a while.
Watch for a new post on December 1st.

I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Kissing Under the Parasite

Now that the leaves have fallen from the trees, Motivated Mom has been pointing out to me the balls of mistletoe hanging in the barren tree branches.

I was surprised. Not that I had really thought about it before, but I guess I just always assumed that mistletoe was a shrub of some kind. Whenever I've seen a complete ball of mistletoe it has looked like something that's been pruned from a bush.

As I processed this new information I came to realize that if mistletoe grows high in tree branches, then the mistletoe must be getting its nutrients from the tree. That would mean that mistletoe is a parasitic plant.

I did some quick research and - sure enough - mistletoe is a parasite.

This new found information just totally changes the way I think about the Christmas tradition of kissing under the mistletoe.

I could sort of see the kissing tradition possibly having started from new loves huddling under an evergreen shrub in the winter to steal a kiss.

But kissing under a parasite? Yuck!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Say a Prayer

An extra entry today.

When College Dude still lived with us, he worked at the local BOSE store. One of College Dude's coworkers was an older gentleman named Jerry.

I've just learned that Jerry has passed away after a bout with cancer.

Please include in your daily prayers that Jerry may know everlasting joy, and that the wife he leaves behind will know God's love and support.

For privacy sake I'm not giving Jerry's last name. If you feel a need to be more specific -just call him Jerry, College Dude's friend.

God will know who it is.

Thank you

Peace

Cold Weather & Ancestors

When I stepped out into the parking lot after work tonight I was greeted by a cold wind that made my eyes water, my nose run, and the tips of my ears burn. I HATE cold weather.

I firmly believe that humans were never meant to have to endure cold weather. So why is it that we have to?

During the drive home I realized it is our ancestors' fault.

Everything was good back in the dinosaur age. Tropical conditions, lush plant growth, the entire world was a giant jacuzzi.

Then came that cataclysmic climate change that wiped out the dinosaurs.

Our ancestors had their chance then. They could have moved deep within their caves, sealed off the entrances and said Uh-uh, no sir, we are not going out in that.

Then the Creator of the world would have been forced to say Oops, my bad. Let me crank the heat back up.

But nooo, our ancestors had to go and figure out a way to tough it out. Clubbing animals over the head for their skins, building fires to pollute the atmosphere, it's been all down hill ever since.

And now I have to deal with frostbitten ears.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Weather Mis-advisory

A winter weather advisory has been posted for our area tonight.

I need to call the Weather Service and tell them they totally blew it.

Winter is still twenty-five days away, so whatever is rolling in tonight can't be winter weather.

The front could could be bringing in unseasonable post-summer conditions, but not winter weather.

Yes, I'll admit that snow showers with possible accumulations sounds winter-like but...

Wait. That's how the forecast should read. A winter-like weather advisory.

Got'ta keep things straight after all.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Baby Makes Four

Media Girl's baby arrived this weekend.... in a manner of speaking.

Media Girl is participating in a special curriculum in high school. The high school, a local technical college, and a local hospital are cooperating on a health care program. The program's goal is to fast track students into the nursing field by starting college courses and nursing training while the student is still in high school.

One of the advanced courses has to do with child care. This weekend was Media Girl's weekend to take care of a baby. The baby is an incredibly life-like doll equipped with a computer chip. The baby cries and coos in cycles that mimic the real thing. When the baby cries, it's up to the student to figure out if the baby is hungry, needs to be changed, needs to be burped, or is just being cranky. The student keeps a log of the care given, and information saved in the computer chip is used to confirm the baby was not ignored.

The weekend started out with Media Girl constantly cradling the baby and speaking in that cutesy voice that any parent knows only too well.

After two nights of interrupted sleep, Media Girl's cutesy talk had changed to a husky snarl; and her fascinated smile had twisted into a curled lip.

At dinner Sunday night, Motivated Mom asked So what have you learned about babies?

Media Girl's reply: They're a pain in my ass. I can't wait to take this thing back tomorrow.

Hmmm. Considering the number of teenage pregnancies, maybe this baby care thing should be something every high school student has to participate in.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

In English Please

When I'm at my writing desk, I'll sometimes randomly flip through the pages of my dictionary to learn a new word or two. I received a new dictionary for my birthday last month, so I'm doing a little more page flipping than usual to familiarize myself with some of the added features my old dictionary did not have.

A consecutive run of entries having two words back to back caught my eye. In my mind, dictionaries list single words followed by a definition. What was the deal with these multiple word entries?

I zoomed in on binomial distribution the definition for which is: a probability function each of whose values gives the probability than an outcome with constant probability of occurrence in a statistical experiment will occur a given number of times in a succession of repetitions of the experiment.

Funny - I was sure I had received a dictionary of the English language. Perhaps the person who gave me the dictionary had mistakenly picked up the version for lawyers and politicians.

Here's my thing - dictionaries are supposed to be helpful. I know no more now about binomial whatever than I did before. I'm assuming it is a mathematical formula of some kind - in which case that's what the definition should say: a mathematical formula.

Here's my other thing - If we've reached the point where we need to string words together to convey what a single word ought to be able to do, then we've become way too technologically minded for our own good.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Shadow Heart

I was so captivated by a flock of birds flying overhead the other day that I had to pull my car over to the side of the road lest I cause an accident.

The birds were small, some type of sparrow I would guess, and there were probably eighty of them in the flock.

As they flew, the distance between each bird constantly changed so that the flock was first condensed to a nearly solid mass - then expanded to a vaporous shadow stretching out to cover ten times the amount of space. This expansion and contraction continued with a constant, pulsing rhythm as the birds traversed the sky.

I could almost believe that I was not watching birds at all; rather a single living organism - like a giant shadowy heart- drifting purposefully through the air.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Turning a Blind Eye

Media Girl will never win the Good Housekeeping seal of approval. The incredible variety of things piled one atop the other gives the floor of her bedroom a geographic resemblance to the lunar surface. If Media Girl had been a teenager before the first lunar rover was built, NASA could have put the robot through all of it's paces right in her bedroom.

Motivated Mom and I have long been at odds about the condition of Media Girl's room.

Motivated Mom tosses and turns in her sleep dreaming about what lurks behind the bedroom door. While I turn a blind eye saying The door is always closed - if we don't have to see it, why should we care.

Well, now that Media Girl is sharing one of our cars, I'm learning the price of turning a blind eye.

Forget NASA. I need someone from the National Center for Disease Control to come inspect our Isuzu before I slip into the driver seat again. Just looking in through the window has me shivering at the thought of what kind of pestilence is breeding inside the car.

So to those of you with sloppy kids - unless you intend to never have to share a car with your teenager - start implementing the white glove test in their bedrooms today!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Out of sequence

Don't know how I managed to do it, but today's post is actually beneath yesterday's entry.
So please scroll down to Phones Revisited.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veterans Day

I probably should have posted this last night but... there's nothing that says thank you's need to be confined to one day.

Thank you

To all of the folks who have served and are serving in our nation's armed forces.

Thank you for ensuring we have a safe place to live and raise our families.

Thank you for your sacrifice of leaving your families behind.

Thank you for protecting the system of government that, while not always pretty, allows us to chose how we will run our lives.

And to the families of the members of our armed forces - Thank you for giving up your most valuable possession. I pray that your sacrifice is temporary. If the parting is permanent, I simply will never find the right words to offer.


Phones Revisited

For new readers ... welcome. To understand who the folks are that I refer to in my blogs, please go to the September archives and scroll down to Cast of Characters.

Media Girl is having cell phone problems again. Her recently repaired phone went kaput once more. The saving grace was that schools were closed for Veterans Day so Media Girl was able to keep in touch with the outside world via the house phone and instant messenger until she could get to the local Verizon store.

Whew!! Disaster averted - because for a while there Media Girl had been looking a little like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.

The phone problem prompted discussion about phones in general. Motivated Mom and I mentioned that we had heard of families who were having their cell phones turned off as part of cost cutting measures.

That put genuine fear into Media Girl. Seriously. She exhibited an increased breathing rate, nervous pacing, the whole nine yards.

Which reminded me of earlier phone related conversations in which some of Media Girl's friends had been involved. When the idea was put forth that cell phones really were not a necessity, the general reaction from those other teenage girls ran along the lines of I'd rather give up meals than give up my cell phone.

Watching Media Girl's panic attack, I came to a realization. Cell phones have become as addicting as caffeine, nicotine, or virtually any other drug.

And I realized there is an urgent need for a new worldwide support group. CPA - Cell Phones Anonymous.

Because when the next solar flare disrupts cell phone transmissions, thousands of teenagers are going to start running in search of a location that offers more bars of service.

And when those additional bars are nowhere to be found, the need for immediate withdraw support is going to be overwhelming.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Cooler weather

A recent news headline proclaimed the U.S. could well experience the coolest weather in ten years.

Cold weather and I get along about as well as a lion and a gazelle.

So colder than normal temperatures would mean I'd be dressing in layers and layers... and layers of clothing. I started running through a mental inventory of heavy socks, thermal underwear, flannel-lined pants, sweaters, sweatshirts, down vests, coats, hats, and gloves.

With current economic conditions already making my wallet feel about as heavy as a piece of dental floss, I pictured myself slurping down bowls of steaming soup while huddled beside a fire blazing in my fireplace.

Continuing to read the article, I was mulling over the practicality of shrink wrapping my entire house to minimize heat loss when a specific statistic in the report caught my attention.

The expected difference in average temperature between 1997 (the previous coolest year) and 2008 was 0.2 degrees.

WHAT!! A cooling alert has been posted for two tenths of a degree?! Isn't that a little like posting a tropical storm watch when a summer sun shower is passing through?

Maybe 0.2 degrees is an important statistic to someone - but keep the information in a science publication, not the daily newspapers.

Still - it will no doubt get colder in the coming months so I'll keep looking for my battery powered earmuffs.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Sunshine & Seashells

It was wonderful to finally see the sun see again. We have had a full week of cloudy, rainy, dreary weather. To open my eyes this morning and see sunlight filtering through the blinds was a real joy.

Motivated Mom and I wasted no time in taking care of our morning got'ta do's so that we could head out for a walk on the beach.

Considering it's November, the weather was perfect. The air was not overly cold and the sun beaming down on our heavy post-summer attire kept us comfortably warm.

At this time of year I'm a beach walker whereas Motivated Mom is a shell hunter. Once we hit the beach the distance between us generally grows pretty quickly as I stride off for a distant target while Motivated Mom trains her eyes on the sand at her feet.

Today we moved as a team and what did we find but the whelk shell mother load. (Since moving to this area, we've learned that the spiral shells found on Mid-Atlantic beaches are whelk shells - not conch shells as they are called by most people.)

It's a good thing it was a relatively warm day because the shells were clustered in tidal pool. Motivated Mom and and I quickly shed shoes and socks, rolled up our jeans, pushed up the sleeves of our sweatshirts, and scooped nearly one hundred jumbo sized shells of the water.

All in all a great day of sunshine and seashells.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Short

Some curious things are demanding my attention tonight so here is a short contemplation.

Never cheat yourself out of amazing experiences by assuming nothing exists beyond what you can see with your eyes and hear with your ears.

Friday, November 7, 2008

OMG 80B

I was watching the television show Mad Money tonight. The show is Jim Cramer's very unique approach to educating folks on investing in the stock market. Not that I have money to invest mind you. I just find the show interesting.

On tonight's show, one of the executives from Verizon was being interviewed. Mention was made that text messaging has been a significant money maker for Verizon. The Verizon exec was asked what the next big breakthrough would be.

As part of his response, the executive made reference to the fact that 8o billion text messages are sent every day.

80 BILLION?! I was sure I had misheard - but the guy repeated the number. I started trying to figure out how many test messages would have to be sent by each cell phone user in order for 80 billion messages to be generated. But since I haven't a clue how many active cell phones there are in the world, that proved to be a futile exercise.

Suffice it to say that there must be enough beams of some kind shooting through the atmosphere to make Scotty from Star Trek wet his pants. Captain, our shields aren't strong enough to enter earth's atmosphere. All those cell phones will damage the reactor core.

Wait. I think I have a way of backing into the total cell phone quantity. I figure Media Girl must be good for 1,500 text messages a day by herself. 80 billion text messages total sent by others like her would mean 530 million cell phone users around the world.

Wow, where I was when the first stock offering on cell phones came out?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Return Day

Today, November 6, is Return Day in the state of Delaware. The festivities take place in the city of Georgetown.

The event originated in the 17oo's. Georgetown was where the residents of Sussex County had to travel in order to cast their vote. Two days later, voters returned to Georgetown to hear the election results publicly read out.

A highlight in the day's ceremonies is a parade in which all candidates ride side by side in horse drawn carriages and antique autos. At the conclusion of the parade, there is a ceremonial burying of the hatchet after which the campaigning and election are officially announced to be closed and everyone agrees to work together.

This year's events were particularly historic. Since schools are closed for Return Day, Media Girl headed to Georgetown to see history in the making.

Senator Joe Biden was covering all of his bases this year - running both for the vice president of the U.S. and for Senator of Delaware. In past elections, Senator Biden had always been in attendance for Return Day and it was expected this election year would be no different.

And in fact he did attend. Only not as a Senator returning to another term in office, but as vice president elect.

When we asked Media Girl if she had taken any pictures she replied that she had not - she was too busy talking on her cell phone.

Hmmmm... pictures of the vice president elect of the U.S. riding in a horse drawn carriage through a local town versus carrying on a non stop conversation with friends you see every day.

Have you ever had the urge to knock common sense into somebody?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Avian Warning System

We're having quite the wind and rain storm tonight. We really need the rain and, as I've mentioned before, I love the sound of rushing wind.

I got to wondering how birds feel about this kind of weather. For a creature that makes its home in the trees, 40 mph wind gusts have to be a concern. I would think that at some point there has to be a decision to head for the shelter of low growing brush rather than remaining high in a tree.

How would that decision to head for low shelter be made? A winged creature would not want to wait until the winds had exceed 25 mph before deciding to head to ground. Opening wings in that kind of wind would almost certainly result in broken bones or being carried miles away.

There must be some type of Avian Warning System (AWS). It's said that lots of creatures can hear sounds that humans can not, so it is conceivable an AWS could exist on a frequency unheard by people. It would explain why we don't see birds being cartwheeled through the sky during storms.

I'm thinking that if we humans could tap into the AWS, we could save a lot of lives. We would know - for sure - of the approach of life threatening storms and evacuate the affected areas. If there are any scientific minded folks out there reading this... the idea might be worth an explore.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

What's Lurking?

Ever since I arrived home tonight one of our cats, Ginger, has been stalking through the house. Ginger has been going from room to room sticking her nose in the heating registers, scratching at the floor around the registers, and emitting mournful cries.

Ginger's behavior is making me very nervous. It's not like the cat could be crying over having dropped her keys through the slats in the register. There must be something lurking in the duct work in our house.

Come to think of it, isn't the cat supposed to be silently lying in wait for the intruder so she can pounce on it - leaving me none the wiser? This running around the house wailing out a warning in imitation of an air raid siren isn't helping anything. Whatever is lurking will only hunker down and wait for the lights to out and the house to fall silent.

Now my mind is flipping through the plots of such movies as Aliens, The Fog, Arachnophobia, and Dracula. (Hey, in bat form a vampire can fit in a heating duct.)

At least if it's a bat - or some other flying thing, once it escapes from the nether regions below the floors it will have to go airborne and I'll have a decent chance of spotting it.

But spiders, mice, or other crawly things could climb the bedpost during the night and scurry under the covers. What might seem to be an itch on my foot might be...... I'd rather not think about it.

Aaagghhhh! Jeesh! Ginger just decided to attack my foot. My laptop darned near sailed to the other side of the room.

Cats!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Hokey Pokey

Set your hour hand back, set your hour hand ahead, set your hour hand back, and shake yourself about.

That's what I'm going to be doing over the next few weeks and my head is spinning at the thought of the mental Hokey Pokey I'll be doing.

The clock changes at either end of daylight saving time always through my body's rhythm out of whack. For two weeks after the clock change I'm just not in sync with the world around me. It's kind of like a movie where the sound is half a second off from the picture.

I should have recovered from the recent clock change by the16th of the month.

I'll be good for a week.

Then, on the 21st I leave for vacation and my destination will require that I set my watch an hour ahead again (I'm not complaining mind you - just making an observation).

I'll be midway through my second time resynchronization when it will be time to return home and set my watch back an hour once more.

Frankly I'm a little concerned that maybe this type of time play was the cause of Rip Van Winkle's extended sleep. I mean, like maybe old Rip took a misstep between clock changes and just kind of slipped between time lines.

What ever will I do if I find myself waking up in the seat of an airplane that has become part of aeronautics museum in the year 2074?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Doctors' Secret

Doctors are holding out on us.

The past couple of weeks Motivated Mom and I have been taking turns taking Media Girl to doctor offices. Media Girl has come down with something that just continues to defy the doctor's attempts to get her well.

Sitting in the various waiting rooms, I have been cringing at the coughing, sniffling, and nose blowing going on all around me. I have been certain that germs are viewing me as a new attack zone.

During my waits, I have been thinking about how germ spreading folks parade in and out of doctor offices five days a week, eight hours a day. Yet how often have I encountered a sick doctor? Almost never.

Which means doctors must be holding out on us. Obviously health care providers have access to a doctors only super pill that wards off germs and diseases of all varieties.

I say it is time for us to demand that those magical medications be made available to the populous at large.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

A Gift

We had a beautiful Indian Summer day here today. Temperatures flirted with the eighty degree mark. Such weather on the first of November demanded that any other plans be put aside so that I could head for the beach.

I watched a young child exploring the beach today. The boy could not have been more than four years old. Trying to keep up with his mother, the child's short legs scissored quickly, his feet leaving a miniature sand storm swirling in his wake.

But keeping up with mom was soon forgotten when the boy took notice of all the baubles in the sand. Each sand polished pebble and sun bleached shell was a treasure screaming to be discovered.

I was thankful for the gift of getting to watch the young boy's fascination. It was a reminder that in these days filled with the weight of uncertainty, nature continues to provide endless offerings to lighten the load.