Flash

For a split second I was certain my life was changing forever. The brilliant flash of light had to mean one of two things.

One. I had just died and was now experiencing the beautiful white light so often described by those who have had near death experiences.

Or, two. I was about to experience divine intervention. Don't folks in the Bible always cower in awe of the radiant beauty that precedes the appearance of an angel bringing a message?

Turns out I failed to consider option three. The light bulb burned out just as I flicked the wall switch. Good thing I was in the bathroom at the time because it scared the you know what out of me.

Why do light bulbs do that - put out a zillion times their ordinary level of light just as they're dying? If they can put out that much light at the end, why can't they put out the same level of brilliance throughout their entire life cycle? Think of how many fewer light bulbs we would need.

It has to be plot. I can see that now (now that I can see again). Some giant light bulb consortium bought the patent to some garage inventor's superior light bulb design. Not content to simply stash the designs in a locked safe, they ingeniously shortened the life cycle to a nano-second so that at the death of every bulb we get a snap shot of what we can never have.