Too Poor to Die

Now I know the financial worst is yet to come. How can I deduce anything else from the internet headline that Walmart is selling discount caskets?

Obviously the writing is on the wall - a growing percentage of the population is unable to afford a final resting box for the dearly departed.

I submit that a better approach would be a modern day version of bring out your dead. Instead of a filthy, limping man driving a mule drawn cart loaded with dead bodies, a biological entity recycling vehicle will make weekly rounds to collect bodies recently evacuated by the life essence.

Does the new improved version sound sufficiently politically correct? I wouldn't want to offend anyone's sensibilities.

The non functioning biological entities would be taken to a perpetually burning pyre where they would be reduced to ash and packaged as fertilizer.

The only cost to the departed's survivors would be a nominal pick up and processing fee.

Got'ta run - the local patent office closes soon.