To Iron or....

Lately I've been doing more ironing than I've done in a long time - and I remember why I''ve always hated it.

How is it that I can line up the seams on a pair of pants and still get wrinkles in the middle of only one side of a pant leg? Logic says that with X amount of fabric and opposing seams lined up, the amount of material on either side should be equal. Therefore if one side is crisp and smooth so should be the other. Obviously clothes manufacturers don't use logic.

And shirts? Forget about it. The person who designed the ironing board obviously wasn't familiar with the term user friendly. Oh sure, the board tapers - but not at the same angle as the cut of fabric between the shoulder and hem of the shirt. And just how does one manage to avoid creases in a shirt when the ironing board cover itself twists around the board every time the shirt is advanced? It's bad enough I have to keep straightening the shirt, but when I have to repeatedly do the same to the foam backed cover I get the urge to press the iron straight through to the metal board itself. In those moments I'm sure my face is twisted into a demonic snarl and should any family member ever be so unfortunate as to venture into the room just then I'm sure I would spew vegetable soup in their direction.

Dry cleaners obviously are keeping a well hidden secret. Think they can really manage to press hundreds of shirts and pants a day using something shaped like a traditional ironing board? Not a chance. Those ironing boards visible from the front of the shop are all for show. Somewhere in the back room is the gizmo that really gets the job done - and that's the gizmo I want.

Then again, I could just leave the clothes at the cleaners. I think I know where I'm allocating part of my next salary adjustment.