Farm Alien

An intergalactic traveler had taken a wrong turn and wound up on the local divided highway.

That was the only explanation for the monstrous vehicle straddling one and a half lanes of concrete roadway. With deadly claws tucked beneath its main body, the bionic interplanetary traveler seemed more imposing than threatening. Yet I was certain the lack of any other cars in sight was proof the massive pinchers could deploy lightning quick and snatch a two ton vehicle from the road with no more expenditure of energy than a person lifting a cat by the scruff of the neck.

With less than three quarters of a mile between my car and the alien I had little time to consider my options. I could slow to a crawl and hope to find an exit ramp around the next bend, or I could go back the way I had come by cutting across the median and hoping my car didn't bottom out.

I rejected both options after picturing the metallic transport discharging a swarm of misshapen warriors like a scene from Starship Troopers.

The element of surprise was on my side - though I was plenty surprised myself. Pushing the gas pedal of my car to the floor, my plan was to come up from the rear, slip right underneath, and speed off into the distance before the alien even knew I was there.

With less than fifty yards separating our vehicles I saw the sign. Caution: Insecticides.

It was in that same instant that the farmer turned his piece of heavy equipment into a field along the highway, deployed the "claws" and began an application of bug killer to the soy crop.

You gotta love traveling through farm country.