Green Extreme

Even if you are not well versed in the concept of green building you are probably at least familiar with the terminology given that the phrase is popping up everywhere these days.

In a nutshell, the movement encourages the use of building materials and methods that have minimal impact on the environment.

Queen B pointed out an article on a building technique that has taken green building to the extreme - a green roof for your house.

I'm talking - literally a green, growing roof. The article talks about the kinds of plants that will grow best on the top of your house and what kind of wildlife the different kinds of plants will attract.

My reaction - you have GOT to be kidding me. I can barely keep up with the weeds in my gardens. The last thing I need is to have to worry about weeding my roof too.

And as for the wild life. I really don't want to start my day by dodging bird droppings as I step out my front door.

Slinky for the Garden

I took advantage of the incredibly mild temperatures today and did some yard work.

I was putting in garden edging. You're probably familiar with the stuff. A coil of black plastic material about five inches wide and twenty feet long. It's the stuff the designers of slinky came up with to keep adults entertained.

Well, maybe entertained isn't quite the right word. However the garden edging did hold my attention for a long time. I couldn't afford to divert my attention less the devious material wrap itself around my ankles and sent my toppling to the ground.

With all the things around that never want to go back in their original carton or return to their original shape once they're opened, I'm sure garden edging had to be specifically designed to keep springing back into a coil.

I tried bending the stuff backwards, anchoring one end in place with a bucket of dirt, beating the stuff with a sledge hammer. Repeatedly the end of the edging furthest away came springing back to crack me in the legs - or other parts of my anatomy.

Next time I think I'll borrow a set of leg guards like baseball catchers wear.

If I Knew

Motivated Mom has been helping me with a computer project.

The happy couple that we are, we've been sitting side by side at my desk sharing quality computer time.

Motivated Mom and I have radically different approaches to computer work. I'm a firm believer there is a definite need for books like Word 2oo7 for Dummies, while Motivated Mom prefers to just start selecting options to see where they take her.

So when another obligation pulled Motivated Mom from my side, I plaintively said, Wait, where are you going? If I knew what I was doing, I'd have this done by now.

Calling back over her shoulder Motivated Mom assured me that having been right there through this much of the process, I could easily bring it to conclusion.

Yeah right. Computers and I get along great as long as I'm driving. But if one of those annoying error message windows pops up on my screen I'm heading directly for the reference book to avoid my project crashing into the recycle bin.

Sure enough, seconds after Motivated Mom had left the room, a message window brought progress to a screeching halt. And because things had come this far through a combination of male methodical planning and female whimsical option jumping, I was lost.

The error message waited patiently for my response.

Just GO AWAY, I thought. If I knew what I was doing I'd have been done by now.

Did the DELETE button just wink at me?

Armageddon Peanuts

According to a headline this morning there have now been 666 people who have been sickened by peanuts containing salmonella.

I'm afraid I can see where this is going.

666 is supposedly the number of the beast (aka: the Devil). So obviously someone is laying the groundwork for trying to convince us that the tainted peanuts are bringing us one step closer to Armageddon.

That's right, the Devil is hard at work weakening our faith by slipping us poisoned peanuts.

Well, I guess anything is possible. So perhaps we need to nip this sneak attack in the bud.

It seems to me an almond butter and jelly sandwich could be just as satisfying as peanut butter and jelly. Let's try spreading cashew paste on our celery sticks. And if we want something crunchy, walnut brittle sounds like it would be much more of a chewing challenge than peanut brittle.

So there Beelzebub - nuts to you!

Glass Deception

Glass generates deception. It's a fact.

A goldfish can swim in what it no doubt believes to be an extensive world because, hey, in a round glass bowl the water goes on forever.

Windows in our houses offer a similar deception.

I'm looking through my window at a warm, inviting morning. Outside the sky is clear blue, sea gulls are calling to each other, and the sun is beaming waves of heat into my room. I can hardly wait to get outside and enjoy the day.

Opening the front door is like jumping from a hot tub to an ice bath. The deception is broken. Frigid wind steals my breath as tears turn to ice crystals in the corners of my eyes.

If only I could go about my errands while locked in a sun warmed phone booth.

History

When we were unpacking Queen B's boxes over the weekend, we came across a piece of family history.

A lone piece of paper told of my great grandparents' arrival in the U.S. My great grandfather and great grandmother had booked passage on a ship that took a little over two weeks to cross the Atlantic Ocean. They brought three young children with them.

How ever did they survive the trip?

I mean think about it. There was no "Kids Club" to send the children off to. No rock climbing wall, no midnight buffet, nothing.

It was probably during such a passage that the song Are We There Yet? was originally written.

How would you keep three children on their best behavior for seventeen days?

It wasn't like great grandfather could threaten to turn the ship around.

Bbbbrrrrr. I get shivers just thinking about it.

The Moving Game

Time got away from me the past two days and I apologize for the lapse in new posts.

Queen B moved in this weekend. Friday I was at her old home packing the things that had needed to remain accessible for day to day living.

Saturday I was unpacking those very same boxes - and more

I've been doing at lot of packing and unpacking the past few years.

I moved to my current residence just a few years ago. Since then I've helped move College Dude twice, helped Motivated Mom's mother move, and now just finished moving Queen B.

I may just break out in a sweat and collapse to the floor the next time I lay eyes on a roll of clear packing tape.

I should have taken a picture of the most recent tower of boxes and slipped it into my wallet. I should have positioned it so that every time I opened my wallet the picture would be be in plain view.

That tower of boxes would stare me in the face every time I contemplated a new purchase and I would quickly change my mind about adding to my possessions.

Magic Tonic

Busy day today. I have to practice hitching the horses - I've decided to sell Dr. K's Magic Tonic from the back of a horse drawn wagon.

Here's a short contemplation.

There's always a bright side. Sometimes we need to remember it will come in an unexpected form.

Tea and ...

Some days are made for a cup of hot tea, a blanket, and a good book.

Today was one of those days. The sky was overcast, there was a light drizzle falling, and the wind was whistling down the chimney.

So...after lunch I took the opportunity to snuggle into Queen B's new luxury recliner. The chair has heat and massage built into it.

This is the way that recliners were meant to be made!

I did encounter one problem. The massage feature had my eyes vibrating in my skull - making it very hard to read.

Flying Objects

Flying Objects Ahead

That's not the type of hazard sign I expect to see erected on the shoulder of the road.

My first instinct was to look for tiny silver UFOs racing back and forth overhead.
Silly I know, with all the money the government has supposedly spent squashing the existence of UFOs they wouldn't suddenly start advertising their arrival.

Perhaps then those ugly flying monkeys that did the bidding of the Wicked Witch of the West.
Nope, there was no horde of winged marsupials blocking the sun.

Maybe I was too early. Maybe the flying objects hadn't arrived yet. I considered pulling over just past the hazard sign so I would have a prime viewing spot.

That's when I spotted it, the brightly painted tree trimming truck with one of those elephant sized branch maulers behind it.

Whatever happened to the sign Road Work Ahead?

Morning Blue

The bluebird of happiness paid me a visit this morning.

I was finishing breakfast when I noticed the bluest blue I think I've seen.

I moved closer to the window to find a bird sitting on the porch railing all fluffed up against the morning chill. The bird's back was a royal, neon blue and his breast was scarlet red.

I was thankful for nature's gift that had put a smile on my face, but felt sorry for the bird. He was obviously working hard to insulate himself from the cold. His neck was invisible, so fluffed up were his feathers.

I had a momentary picture of a cartoon character sticking a thumb in its mouth and then blowing - the result being the character expanding like a balloon.

Fortunately the sun was cresting the tree tops so warmth was not far off.

To Boldly Go

Majel Barret Roddenberry recently passed away. Majel was the wife of Gene Roddenberry, the creator of Star Trek. The couple's cremated remains are to be launched into space.

As I was reading the article about this, I was thinking that space was a fitting place for the man who made a household phrase of To boldly go where no man has gone before.

Then I got to thinking it was too bad that technology had not advanced to where the couple's remains could have been transported into space.

So wasn't I surprised when I read just a few days later that science has made the first successful step toward a Star Trek-like transportation.

It seems they haven't yet perfected matter transportation, but the transportation of knowledge between similar life forms has been achieved.

I hope science can make knowledge transportation an everyday occurrence really quickly. We could use a whole lot of common sense being spread around right about now.

Shoestring Valentine

Sometimes I really appreciate College Dude's unique approach to things.

Getting ready for Valentine's Day, College Dude was working the gray matter hard to come up with a unique way to celebrate on a shoestring budget.

A romantic getaway weekend at a resort was out. How could he replicate the ambiance of a resort?

Then it came to him. College Dude changed his bed linens to a stark white, then created a really bad scenic picture and hung it above the headboard. Shazam - his own room was transformed to a room at an inn.

I'm thinking he could have gone one step further. Filling a mixing bowl with water, sprinkling some flower petals on the surface, and then blowing into the water through a straw for a jacuzzi effect.

How Did It Do That?

Hey... how did it do that?

That was the question that my cat's body language conveyed when the printer hummed to life and spit out a piece of paper.

My cat, Ginger, had been sitting on the edge of my desk (reminding me that she was due for some attention) when I hit the PRINT button.

The printer went into its warm-up hum and, all in one motion, Ginger sprang from her crouch and pivoted one hundred eighty degrees.

She made a quick stab with her paw to try and save the piece of paper being sucked mercilessly into the machine, then recoiled when the same piece of paper was spit back out.

Ginger looked from the printer to me and back again as if to say Did you see that? That was amazing!

Ginger being a cat, of course she had to stick her nose as far into the printer as possible.

Me being me, of course I had to hit PRINT again.

You don't...

You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger
...And you don't rake leaves in thirty mile per hour wind.

What were those people thinking today?

The winds here were a nearly constant thirty miles per hour with gusts near fifty. And there was a group of people raking leaves in front of the local Junior High School.

Oooohhh, you say, Junior High School - well that explains it.

No, it wasn't students doing the raking. Full grown adults who should have known better were out there with plastic trash bags. The bags were whipping in the wind like pennants on top of a sports stadium during a thunderstorm.

Talk about an exercise in futility!

Meanwhile the students were probably looking out of the school windows and thinking that's the kind of thing my education is going to lead to?

Ahh... Acupuncture

I'm soooo looking forward to my acupuncture appointment tonight.

Yes, that's right, I'm looking forward to having needles stuck in me.

Now before you go thinking Hey, I thought this Bruce guy was all right - but now it turns out he's some kind of wack-a-doo who enjoys getting stuck with needles! Let me explain.

I discovered the benefits of acupuncture about four years ago when numerous modern medical approaches failed to resolve a health issue. Acupuncture led to such dramatic improvements that I quickly became a believer.

Tonight's appointment is to help me get over a cold/cough that descended on me with a vengeance nine days ago. I can almost guarantee that I'll be feeling dramatically better by this time tomorrow.

These days, when I meet someone who mentions a nagging health issue I encourage them to try acupuncture. It's really not as traumatic as our imaginations suggest it could be. The needles that are used are so thin you hardly notice them. In fact, I frequently fall asleep once the needles are in place. And the benefits are truly amazing.

Thanks...

Today's post is twofold, centering on the word thanks.

I was at the beach this past weekend enjoying the seventy degree weather. A phrase I heard over and over again as groups passed by in threes and fours was Thanks for inviting me, I needed this.

The thanks was coming from people whose hosts had invited them out to enjoy the springtime weather in February. Another gift from the weather gods.

Not being native to the beach towns, Motivated Mom and I are conscientious about taking advantage of the beach when the weather cooperates. There are so many people who have grown up in the area who just never think about the ocean - until someone drags them out for a memory refresher.

What better way to clear the mental cobwebs that accumulate during the drab early months of the year.

Thanks, Part 2 is...

Thanks to the people who heard about my change in employment status and sent best wishes, prayers, and encouragement. Having been employed in a business that supplies the housing industry, I guess it was only a matter of time before the crunch caught up to me.

For those of you whose e-mail addresses I have tucked away in memory, you'll soon be seeing those weekly SeaZens reminders from me again.

If you want to make double sure you get into my new data base, please feel free to drop me a line. The e-mail I have set up for my writing stuff is..... scripterbwk@verizon.net

For readers who stop by for anonymous visits - if you happen to work in an industry connected with writing I'd love to hear from you as I explore new horizons.

Seventeen

Happy Birthday to Media Girl - she turns seventeen today.

Looking back, Media Girl has always done her best to make the world march to her beat.

It started even before she was born.

Media Girl was nearly two weeks late before she let Motivated Mom know she was finally on her way. I hurried Motivated Mom to the hospital where nurses and the doctor gathered around. We waited - and waited - and waited.

Since Media Girl was already behind schedule, the decision was made to administer medication in order to speed things up. Then we all waited - and waited - and waited.

The doctor finally said he was going down the hall to take a nap.

Media Girl gave the doctor just enough time to doze off, then decided to make her entrance.

Media Girl was now waiting for no one. A nurse rushed to get the doctor who barely had time to wash his hands before welcoming Media Girl into the world.

Time Capsule

Motivated Mom and I have been cleaning out closets this weekend. One of those closets contained some boxes we have been holding onto for College Dude.

Popping the boxes open was like opening a time capsule. (Language Lass, pay attention here.)

There were the stuffed whales that, up until fifth grade, College Dude simply could not got to sleep without.

Then there was the wooden Brio train set. I can't even begin to count how many times Motivated Mom, College Dude, and I assembled and disassembled that train. College Dude never considered the layout a success unless every piece of track was used.

Star Wars ships and figurines filled multiple boxes. I thought back to the countless times College Dude and his friends had saved the galaxy.

There was College Dude's first guitar. He had undertaken the learning of an instrument with some uncertainty, and then discovered he had a knack for it. Motivated Mom and I never understood how that came to be since neither of us can carry a tune.

...And then there was the box with amputated body parts (fake of course- or we would have noticed the smell long ago). These were the props College Dude had used when making his own movie. That movie made it through several cuts of a contest and nearly got College Dude on television.

I guess we should take pictures of these things before College Dude comes to collect them. The memories are worth a million bucks.

It's Raining Lizards

We heard from our friend in Florida that with the extremely unusual cold Florida is experiencing the area is dealing with an unusual problem. Iguana are falling from the sky - well, sort of.

Iguana lie in the upper branches of palm trees so that they can bask in the heat of the sun. The recent cold has the Iguana going into a type of hibernation- self preservation from the low temperatures.

The problem is that while they're in this state of suspended animation, the Iguana have a tendency to fall out of the trees. Apparently they are unharmed by the fall and when the temperatures rebound during the day the Iguana shake themselves off and scramble back up the trees.

Can you imagine strolling along and having a lizard fall on your head?

Maybe Iguana stoles will become the new fashion. Simply drape the reptile over your shoulders when it falls on you. That could be interesting. You would never know when your stole might wake up and flick it's tongue in your ear.

Star Trek

There's a new Star Trek movie coming out that takes us back to the beginning when Kirk and Spock are fresh out of the Star Fleet Academy.

I'm intrigued because the movie is apparently being produced and directed by people who don't have science fiction in their resume's. There's probably a whole lot of Star Trek fans who think this is sacrilege.

I'm a fan of the original Star Trek series as well as the Next Generation series and I've also found a couple of the movies entertaining. Personally I think it will be interesting to see how a non-Trekkie handles the plot line.

Leonard Nimoy will recreate his Mr. Spock character in the movie, but William Shatner is a no-show. I guess Bill was too busy taunting some Mamby Pamby into negotiating a better airline fare.

Polar Bear Plunge

This past weekend was the Polar Bear Plunge in Rehoboth Beach.

Once a year, on a February weekend, several thousand people arrive in Rehoboth Beach for the opportunity to race into the ocean.

And, of course, to race out again - if they can still breathe.

I can think of many times when I have jumped into a chilly pool, lake, or ocean on a hot summer day and have had the shock take my breath away.

I can't even imagine what it feels like to run into thirty-eight degree water with waves rushing to meet you.

This year was apparently a cake-walk because the air temperature was in the fifties rather than the twenties. Some people actually dunked themselves several times so they didn't feel like they were cheating.

If I'm going to jump into thirty-eight degree water (which I just can't see myself doing) there better be more that a beach towel and fifty degree air waiting for me when I get out. I'd be looking for a team of paramedics and a preheated sauna at a minimum.

The Plunge is for a good cause - raising money for the Delaware Special Olympics - but isn't simply giving a donation a much more practical approach?

A Groundhog Poem

It was February second and deep in his den,
The groundhog was snoring - counting sheep by the tens.

When outside his front door there arose such commotion,
Groggy Phil uncurled and set his paws into motion.

Phil poked his head out of his front door,
And gave a startled twitch at the unnatural roar.

There he is. There he is. The words thundered in Phil's ears.
Then something clamped down on Phil's neck, bringing him to tears.

Phil was hoisted right up, feet dangling in mid air,
The thunderous shouts changed to - there's his shadow, right there.

Phil blinked his eyes against cameras and lights,
He thought, well of course there's a shadow, you've obliterated the night.

Six more weeks of winter, the man holding Phil did shout.
Then why, thought Phil, are you are all gathered out here - stupid louts.

Phil chattered angrily at the man holding his neck,
The man looked insulted - too bad, what the heck.

Returned to the ground, Phil scurried back into his den,
And returned to the business of counting sheep by the tens.

Phil muttered between snores, What a bunch of stupid farts,
Their calendars could have told them winter would not soon depart.

Media Girl and The Drive

The other day Media Girl wanted to visit a friend in a nearby town and decided to borrow Motivated Mom's car rather than use the SUV we have made available to her. The borrowing took place without prior request and when we called her on her cell phone to question her presumptuousness Media Girl offered a plausible explanation about gas mileage.

Plausible, but not convincing. Obviously the real reason was that driving a sporty looking car is soooo much cooler than driving an SUV.

Hey - wait a minute - what was Media Girl doing answering her cell phone while driving?

Motivated Mom and I decided not to demand Media Girl return immediately - just to make sure she filled the gas tank back up.

When Media Girl returned, the odometer showed she had driven four hundred miles.

The friend Media Girl was visiting (supposedly) lives fifteen miles away. How in the heck did the car come back with enough additional miles to have gone to New York City and back?

I was ready to revoke Media Girl's driving privileges for life despite the agreed upon document on the refrigerator door (see this week's earlier post titled Part Two).

I'm getting too old for this parenting thing.

As a teenager, I most wanted the perceived freedom of adulthood. Now that I am a card carrying adult, I want to go back to being a teenager so I don't have to constantly work at staying one step ahead of a teenager.

You Can Leave But...

This past weekend Motivated Mom and I traveled upstate to help my mother prepare for her upcoming move to our place.

By the way, I've decided that my mother's blog name will be Queen B. (Note to Motivated Mom - the Queen B name in no way implies household ruling authority.)

I'm using Queen as a synonym for Matriarch and B comes from years past. When I was a kid, my Great Aunt referred to our family as the four B's because there were four of us and each of our names started with the letter B. For many years my Great Aunt had been the family matriarch by virtue of both age and disposition. So now the torch is handed on.

Anyway, I was trying to help Queen B submit a change of address on line - and encountered one of the many limits of technology.

The USPS website would not accept the change of address. We both tried entering the required information several times over, only to receive error messages.

The words of the song Hotel California came to mind - just in reverse order.

You can leave anytime you want, but you can never check out.

We finally deduced the problem was a software limitation and reverted to the tried and true method - picking up a change of address form at the local post office.

Weather Gods

The weather gods have been kind recently.

Last week Motivated Mom and I spent an extended weekend visiting a friend who lives in Florida. The purpose of the trip was twofold. One, to visit a good friend. Two, to remind ourselves that warm weather still existed somewhere in the world.

When we arrived in the southern climes, Florida was just coming out of an unusually severe cold snap. The weather gods saw fit to send two seventy degree days and we were able to get in some time on the beach.

Yesterday our friend called to tell us that the temperatures in Florida had fallen again. We had been fortunate to time our trip when we did.

Today, here in our neck of the woods, the temperature made it up to sixty. Quite warm for Delaware at this time of year. So, again, I was able to get outdoors. Although today my outdoor time was spent on chores rather than visiting the beach, the sixty degree weather was indeed a gift.

A sixty or seventy degree day once a week allows for a whole different attitude toward the cold. On a snowy or bitter cold day I have the recent gifts from the weather gods to remind me that the cold shall pass and better times shall prevail.

Now, if only I knew what kind of sacrifice the gods were going to demand........