Thursday, September 2, 2010

Alternative Rating System

A new independent ratings system for television has been established.

The first rating under this new system occurred yesterday. A man walked into Discovery Channel headquarters brandishing a gun and demanded that programming be changed.

I'm betting a one gun rating will get the programming director's attention more than a one star rating.

Now I'm sure the full details of the new rating system have yet to be worked out, but I'm expecting the one to four star rating system replaced by:

mildly inferior program - one armed gunman with traditional revolver

substantially inferior program - two armed gunmen with traditional revolvers

grossly inferior program- three armed gunmen with rapid fire handguns

should never have made

it on the air - four armed gunmen with semi-automatic rifles


I'm anticipating a lot of empty slots in the television lineup. Perhaps broadcasters will need to go back to displaying the test signal during down time.

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