I want to know who designed the Postal Service's curbside mailboxes. The mailboxes with the extended necks that allow you to drop off your mail without getting out of your car - supposedly. I'm curious to know about the designer because I want to satisfy my suspicion that her or she had arms as long as an orangutan.
Because unless you're in a van or SUV, trying to get mail into the curved neck of the mailbox is like trying to scratch a giraffe behind its ears.
I pulled up to one of these curbside conveniences yesterday. I was in my Honda Civic and the first thing I discovered after lowering my window was that I would need to release my seat belt. Naturally the obnoxious buzzer immediately alerted me I had violated safety protocol.
Even with the freedom to lean out the window, it was obvious that from the confines of a compact car the deposit slot would remain elusive unless I could somehow mimic the circus contortionists who twist themselves into pretzels.
I wedged my right foot against the firewall in an effort to leverage myself upward - and quickly realized I should have first set the parking brake. The mailbox was suddenly half a car length behind me.
Fortunately I was the sole visitor at the time and was able to shift into reverse. With the car now repositioned, I set the brake, boosted myself out of my seat, twisted to the left, and snaked my arm into the mouth of the mailbox. Had I been anywhere other that in front of a faded blue mailbox, onlookers would have been calling 911 to report a man having a seizure.
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