In the early dawn hours the shadow in the corner seemed roughly the size of European sports car. There was something about the shape of it that made me reluctant to turn on any more lights so I sat quietly waiting for my eyes to adjust from a night of slumber.
And when it registered that the dark form was not a shadow but an actual ... thing... I quickly pulled my feet up from the floor.
For the thing was a black bulbous mass linked to eight hooked legs that held the balloon-like center well off the floor.
Okay - so it wasn't actually as big as a sports car - but it was definitely the biggest spider I've ever seen short of the rubber tarantulas I used to torment my sister with.
Usually octopeds don't bother me - but in this particular case I was seriously considering placing an urgent shipment for a flame thrower with which to annihilate the creepy crawly.
Ultimately common sense prevailed. Slipping out of the far side of the bed, I grabbed a shoe and made a stealthy, roundabout approach on thing that pulsed up and down on springy legs. A direct hit brought an end to the nightmare - after which I went in search of some paper towels to clean the rather significant splatter that decorated the wall.
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