A Good Year for Soy

On those mornings when I start my day with a bowl of cereal I use soy milk. Studying the carton today I noticed for the first time that the carton says the product is made from North American soybeans.

... And I got to wondering.  Are soybeans like grapes? Do soybeans from South America or Europe have a different flavor than those grown in the U.S.?  Are there good years and bad?  Should I be watching for an opportunity to pick a carton of milk distilled from the Carolina bean of 2010?

Now I'm going to have to study the labeling on competing brands - and perhaps start a soy milk tasting club.

Crying Uncle

Apart from momentary breaks in the cloud cover, we haven't seen sun here in twenty-four days.

When I walked out of the office building today and discovered the ground to be dry I actually started looking forward to going home and mowing the lawn - just because it meant being able to be outside.

Mow the lawn I did - and finished just before another rain front moved in.

Uncle! I give up already? Bring the sun back!

The Next Market Craze

I've discovered the makings of a cottage industry right in my own backyard. A product that's environmentally friendly, all natural, and affordable.

This epiphany came to me as I walked past the backyard pond and heard the surprised squeak of frogs as they leaped from stone outcroppings into the safety of the water.

You might never have noticed, but a surprised frog makes a sound that's a cross between a high pitched YIKES! and the squeak of an infant's toy.

... So why pollute the world with synthetic fabric, squeakers, and non-recyclable packing when you can just hand a kid a frog?

Yep... that's my business idea.  A frog for every crib.  And if a baby sticks its new toy in its mouth... well the frog is completely natural after all.

Now I just have to figure out how to apply food coloring to the frogs. Perhaps a few ponds with a different color of water in each. Color and size options. Yep, that will do it.  Frogs for every occasion.

Night Life

It was a night when sleep lingered just out of reach. A night when the first hours of the new day were announced by the chiming of the mantle clock.. one o'clock, two o'clock.

Warm tea, hot totties, dry books, all failed to take me into the land of dreams.

The tiniest of noises competed for attention until it seemed I must be in the middle of some midnight workshop. LED displays on microwaves, cable boxes, and clocks put out megawatts of light. The shadows cast as I shuffled past these devices were misshapen things that had me wondering about my true identity.

Each mirror, window, and glass-framed picture presented an opportunity to catch a reflection of those ethereal creatures that slink about only in the deadest parts of the night. Not only the hairs on the back of my neck, but those on my arms and legs stood at attention. Nerve endings tingled with racing electric currents.

The hour hand of the clock was nearly on the three when I finally drifted off ...  for my two and-a-half hours of sleep. I was roused not by the alarm but by the scraping scales of night creatures slithering from the light of false dawn.

Make Believe World

I'm starting work on a new children's book. It begins like this:

Tommy knew it was all make believe. Still he loved to listen to his grandfather's stories of a world where a yellow sun hung in the sky, green things grew tall and full, and people went out of doors without so much as an umbrella.

Tommy tried to imagine what it would be like to go outside without rubber boots on your feet or to feel sweat running down your back even when you were standing still. But no matter how hard he worked at it he just couldn't get those things to stick in his mind.

Then came the day that changed Tommy's life. His older sister, Rachel, got a job working in something called a greenhouse. Tommy went with his mother to pick Rachel up from work. A friendly man in blue overalls and a straw hat, a man Rachel called Boss, asked Tommy if he'd like to see where his sister worked. Tommy nodded and was out of the car faster than rain pouring out of a downspout.

Boss opened the door of a building shaped like the top half of a tunnel. Tommy stepped inside and nearly tripped over his own feet. Rather than a long dark tube, the inside of the building blazed with light from hundreds of bulbs. Long rows of low tables held more plants than Tommy had ever seen in one place. Granddad's imaginary world had come to life.

Mud Bog Morning

After a seemingly endless series of dreary and rainy days, my energy has drained into the already over saturated ground. Getting out of the house in the morning has been taking a little longer each day.

I usually arrive at work ten to fifteen minutes early. Today I just knew I was going to be walking through the front door of the office building without a moment to spare.

So I was surprised to find myself sharing the roads with the same delivery trucks, school buses, and memorably decorated cars that I see on a routine basis.

Apparently folks throughout are region are suffering the same mud bog effects.  Regardless of our efforts, we just can't work ourselves free of mental muck.

Bovine Weather Report

Seeing the two cows lying side by side made me think of the belief that cows lie down when it's going to rain.

But what about when they just plain get tired?

I can imagine the bovine conversations:

Millie my hooves are killing me - I've just got to lie down.

Pull yourself together, Myrtle. There isn't any rain on the way. The farmer will think you've lost your mind, or worse yet, have mad cow disease, if you lie down now.

But, Millie, they've been feeding us so much!  I've gained twenty pounds in the past week!

That's the general idea, Myrtle.

But look at my legs - they're shaking from the strain!

Why don't you go lean against that post, Myrtle?

Millie!  Have you lost your mind? The wire that gives shocks is attached to that post!

Hmmm. Yes.  But it'll take your mind off of your tired legs.