The Cats Will Play

Shocking Dude and Language Lass head off for Costa Rica at the end of the month. He for a one week vacation near his wife and she for a month long stay of language enrichment.

For the week they are both gone, I'm wondering how much devastation their two Siamese cats can wreak upon the apartment.  I'm envisioning scattered drawer contents, emptied pantry, and perhaps some rearranging of smaller furniture items.

Hmmm... if I can find out who will be cat sitting perhaps I can ship a baggie full of catnip.

Upon his return, Shocking Dude will no doubt be in for some very vocal chastisement. I'm thinking a bottle of z-quil will be in order.

A Cold Bite

"You can't tell me these aren't human," the officer pointed to bite wounds on the victim's leg.

Dr. Urquist pulled a deep breath.Gads he was tired of the perpetual stream of rookies. When would the metropolitan police manage to hang onto officers long enough that knowledge would be respected?

 "Officer Dupree," Dr. Urquist said, "perhaps you will grant me the kindness of waiting until I finish my report before you question my findings."

"Come on, doc. What you're saying makes no sense. The guy was found in his bed, no animals in the house. Unless those bites were made by Sasquatch they have to be human."

Lifting the cadaver's leg, Dr. Urquist bit into the cold flesh. "THAT is a human bite pattern. Does it resemble the other wounds to your trained eye?"

The Taste of a Song

She likes to mix her liquors. Not the long island iced-teas or Singapore slings that bartenders concocted but shot glasses lined up on the oak coffee table in the den. There are twelve shot glasses with a bottle standing behind each - vodka, rum, tequila, gin...you get the idea.

Her Saturday night ritual is to crank her husband's fifteen thousand dollar sound system until the very foundation rattles. She puts the music database on shuffle and goes with the flow. Santana's Black Magic Woman calls for a shot of Captain Morgan. Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville leaves no second guessing.

Tonight she is two hours into it but could still walk the line if she needed to. Walking the line - that makes her think of Johnny Cash. Johnny was definitely a malt whiskey.

Aging Memory

You know you are getting old when:

While waiting for the water in the shower to get hot you realize you used the last of the shampoo the day before.

On your way to the linen closet you find yourself in the kitchen and decide the only reason you would be there would be to start breakfast.

After putting bread in the toaster you decide to kill two birds with one stone by making the bed while the bread is toasting.

While throwing on the bedspread you smell something and rush to the kitchen.

After tossing the charcoal black toast in the trash you start to wash your hands and then remember you haven't had your shower yet.

Returning to the bathroom you realize you never got the shampoo - but it doesn't matter because the hot water is gone.

When the Time Comes

When the time comes, promise you will hold me.
When the time comes, promise me your strength.
When the time comes, promise me tears of happiness.
When the time comes, promise me your willingness to be silent.
When the times comes, promise me a kiss.

When the time has passed, promise you will remember.
When the time has passed, promise you will live.
When the time has passed, promise you will laugh.
When the time has passed, promise to share love.

When the time comes, I promise I will be waiting.

Spoofing the New Guy?

Jason knew the brick office building was a repurposed psychiatric hospital. During his tour of the building on his first day of work several of his new coworkers warned him not to be last one to leave, never to stay after dark without someone expecting you at home by a specific time, and never to go into the basement alone.

Certain the warnings were jokes every new-hire had to endure, Jason nevertheless matched the serious facial expressions and conspiratorial tones of voice when acknowledging the friendly advice.

But by the time his tour guide led him to the basement, Jason wasn't so sure all those warnings had been jokes. Brick cells lined the outer walls, interiors visible where solid steel doors stood ajar. One cell was used as a storage room for copier paper. When the overhead bare light bulb was flicked on, Jason saw iron rings mortared into the brick. From those rings hung iron chains with metal cuffs that would have locked around an ankle or wrist.

Spooky, huh? A voice whispered from behind. The whisper was followed by a metallic click followed by the sound of a chain being dropped. Jason felt the sudden weight on his left arm as the light went out.

Impossible Defiance

The wind blew, the ocean surged, and a ripple stirred.
The ripple built to a swell. The swell gathered speed and rose into a wave.
Greedily sucking water back from the shore the wave doubled, then tripled in size.
A curl formed, the top of the wave outracing the concave belly.
Bait fish sparkled silver in a graceful free fall from the rushing ridge.
The tip of the curl hung in impossible defiance of gravity.
Wind swept spray from the watery ridge.
Sun highlighted the shifting patterns of salt -
Mini continents drifting across the deep green.
Then all was erased in a pounding crash of white foam.