Elderly Wine

The headline of the article read: Wine Could Stop Falls in Elderly.

Now that I've reached an age at which I can qualify to be a card carrying member of AARP, I can speak as an authority on this topic.  After a couple glasses of wine I have no interest in getting out of my chair.... and if I don't get out of my chair it follows that I won't fall down.

So it makes perfect sense to me that drug stores should start selling those wine chillers that restaurants use to keep vino chilled at table-side.

Elderly folks could pick up their blood pressure medicine, a box of adult Depends, and a wine chiller... then call their kids to make a liquor run for them.

Safely nestled into their wings chairs, sofas or recliners, the silver haired generation could down a bottle of Chardonnay, fall asleep without having to worry about running for the bathroom, and wake up the next morning with all their bones in tact.